


Perfectly Wrong - Dom x Reader

by holmes_wilson11



Category: Yungblud (Musician), black hearts club - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Best Friends, Break Up, Depression, Drugs, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Real Events, Love, Lust, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Post-Break Up, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Romantic Friendship, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26947504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holmes_wilson11/pseuds/holmes_wilson11
Summary: Dom comes back to home from breaking up with Ash and takes advantage of the other women in his life, the one he way of felt something for before any of this.Inspired by real events in a timeline of Dom's career and personal life from October 2019 - October 2020.TW!!!-drugs-depression-self harm
Relationships: Ashley Frangipane | Halsey/Dominic Harrison | Yungblud, Dominic Harrison | Yungblud/Reader, Dominic Harrison | Yungblud/You
Kudos: 6





	1. Illusion

Although the usual amount of euphoria, things felt different between them tonight. Instead of the overwhelming guilt swallowing her alive, she felt ok for the first time. 

She’d stayed, after all was said and done. Against the judgement of her right mind, her heart was bleeding into this decision too much. She knew this was all wrong, the twist in her stomach told her so every time they’d had sex. But she wanted this, she was being selfish and killing herself at the same time. This dynamic was so obviously toxic but she couldn’t stop herself from losing it against his lips, finger tips teasing her skin, she was his little play thing. 

It had been 2 months since he’d been home to London town. And no matter the amount of time he was gone it always seemed to drag on forever. Last time she’d seen him, he was happy. The light in his eyes had disappeared since then. He’d been dealing with the loss of his first real relationship that happened to be a very public one. She wanted to get him talking about it at first, when he’d come back from LA but somehow talking turned into to kissing and kissing turned into frantic needy sex. Which had now been happening periodically for 3 weeks. 

And It's not as if life long friends just go at it like that every day but things were always like this between them. He was her first kiss at 16, she was the first person who heard his music and told him to go for it. A part of him wanted to always protect her from the monster he so obviously was. So nothing happened between them, other than the usual proper friendship stuff, lunches, movie marathons, late night phone calls and shit talk. 

He was a different man now. He’d really lost everything the last couple months and it was hard to be so numb inside. He had the world at his feet, he was so sure he could handle it but it turns out he couldn’t. Breaking up with Ashley, although a mutual decision wasn’t easy. He’d do anything to feel something again. Even if that meant using the one person he wished to save the most, among other self medications. 

He was right, it did make him feel something. Guilt, pleasure, underlying emotions he’d shoved away for years. He wasn’t about to deal with all that. He wanted to ignore it and live in the moment just like him and Ash did. It felt good to pretend he was back there in her arms. Except he wasn’t, he was in Y/N’s. 

His arms wrapped around Y/N’s midsection tightly from behind, body pressing firmly into her back. Soft kisses spread over her shoulders. He could cry but he was pretending, right?

“We should shower.” He muttered softly, not really wanting to put that much effort into clean up, it was an easy fix. 

“Yeah.” She sighed, not wanting to burst the bubble herself. 

They were both coming down now. And after a couple more long silent moments they untangled their limbs. Dom was the first to get up from the bed and patter off into the bathroom, turning the shower on and fixing the temperature of the water. 

“Love.” He called for her, unable to use her name. It would shatter the illusion. 

He called her that, occasionally, it wasn’t uncommon; it just felt so fogien this time. As if she was just another woman passing through his life. 

She walked into the bathroom dissociating hard. And before she could even feel it, warm water ran down her back and her eyes closed. This was real, this was happening? 

His fists clenched, nails digging into his palms as they stood centimeters apart so the water would hit both of them evenly. He looked at her naked body and his heart clenched. How could he undo all of this. 

3 weeks of mistakes, kisses he shouldn’t have taken, advantages he shouldn’t have manipulated. The first girl he ever thought was much too good for him. The girl he kissed at the airport before going to pursue his dreams. The one who had put up with him throughout it all. 

She was naked in front of him, hurting. And he only just realised. Where had he been this whole time, in the fucking clouds. Tears welled up in his eyes and they finally fell down his cheeks, although it went unnoticed by her. He inhaled shakily, biting his lip harshly, the lump in his throat building up. 

His hands cupped her cheeks so gently, so Dom-like it surprised her into opening her eyes. His eyes held so much regret, so much pain and remorse, it hurt to look into them. His black hair stuck to the sides of his face from the wetness. He was so annoyingly beautiful, even like this. They looked at each other properly, for the first time in weeks and the masquerade fell down. 

He didn’t say anything, he just leaned down to connect their foreheads, the way he always did when they had moments. Their moments, scattered throughout the years. Her hand fiddled softly with the longer gold chain around his neck, twisting it around one of her fingers. 

She was wrong, before didn’t feel real. It felt like a lustful guilt ridden haze. This was real, this was him and her. And her body seemed to warm up instantly, through the impending feeling of doom. 

“I-I” He struggled, having to clear his throat. 

He felt it too, the undeniable desire between them both. That would have been fine any other time, any moment other than this one. He didn’t want it, he couldn’t feel this way again. It was too much, too soon. 

“I’m so s-sorry Y//N.” His voice crackled with emotion. This was it. He’d really gone and ruined this too. 

His hands angled her face the right way to kiss her lips, so gently with so much uncertainty and yet a flood of feelings. This all felt so perfectly wrong. Y/N pulled back slowly, her own nails sliding down the side of his neck, making scratch marks. Eyes scrunching, unable to stop her tears. 

“I miss her.”

“I know.” She whispered. “I’m sorry too.” Stepping out of the warm water and his warm touch, she got out of shower. Leaving water droplets on the tiled floor as she grabbed a clean white towel and wrapped it tightly around herself. 

She should never have stayed. Would anything have changed if she didn’t. Who knows. 

He let out a horrible sound, verbally starting to sob now. She looked back at her best friend and it broke her heart into tiny pieces. None of this was healthy, he needed space, she would give it to him; even if that meant losing him. Whatever this was, whatever they had together needed to be put on hold. 

“I love you Dom. It’ll be the death of me.” She whispered, unsure if he was able to hear it or not. It didn’t matter, he was dumb if it didn’t know it by now. 

Her blurry figure disappeared off into the bedroom again. And he stumbled back until his body hit the back wall of the shower. Sliding down it and curling up into himself. Letting it out, finally, not holding back. Angrily grabbing at his own hair, gasping for air from all the crying. Eyes a hot angry red, face puffy, nose running like a tap. 

He missed Ashley, more than he could ever explain. 

But he'd promised to himself that he would always take care of Y/N. Protect her from whatever could hurt her, including himself. To come back always and be the friend she deserved. He failed. Big time. He could faintly hear the bedroom door open and shut again. 

"I-I need." He groaned, crawling slowly across the floor to open the shower door "please" he begged softly to the air in the room.To anyone that would listen. 

He pathetically shuffled over to the draws of the sink unit and hopelessly flung one open. Blindly feeling around and pulling out a small white bottle. He fought to twist the cap off with wet fingers. Tipping it upside down into his mouth, a couple white pills fell onto his tongue and he downed them dryly. He’d become quite an expert in being able to do that lately. 

What was there to live for anymore. 

Giving in, he threw the bottle across the bathroom and laid flat on the cold floor. It just had to kick in and he'd be fine. He wouldn't have to deal with the feeling of his heart being crushed. The guilt of fucking over his best friend. He wouldn't be a massive disappointment to anyone anymore, most importantly to himself. 

He'd just be wide awake, living another day; off his face.


	2. The World Has You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doms on tour in America and Y/N isn't taking him being away very well. He saves her from the inventible.

5 days ago she’d called him, after not speaking for a week. He was just so busy right now, different gig every night; travelling overnight to a new place. Her breath was shaky down the phone, emotion clear as the light of day. She had finally reached tipping point, sitting on the bathroom floor with full intent to end it all. He had no idea how bad it had gotten, she hadn’t mentioned anything for months and he wasn’t there to see her tumble downhill in person. The cat and mouse game they had played since he left was getting really tiring. Seeing videos and photo shoots, fan meet and greets, the new music videos ripped her heart in half. She wanted to be there, celebrate with him; bury her face into his shoulder and scream with excitement. The video calls weren’t enough anymore and the immense guilt she felt was only making her spiral deeper. She wanted to be happy for him and she was mostly, that's why she hadn’t told him. He needed her support. 

4 days ago, she was on the plane, to come see him. He didn’t know what else to do, other than bring her to see him. He couldn’t just cancel the tour and go home. Things were just kicking off for him. Hearing her weep uncontrollably over the phone and knowing exactly how she was feeling crushed him. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened if she didn’t call him. He’d spent the entire day an anxious wreck, waiting for her text. She had completely blacked out the last 15 hours, 10 of which were on the plane. Unable to help herself, she spent the whole time thinking about the possibility of the plane crashing. Panic wouldn’t even set in, she’d just welcome death like an old friend. 

3 days ago, they spent the night together; the first time in many months. And everything felt glued back together again. The ground seemed to stop moving under her feet. Her lungs open to the air she inhaled again. 

Squashed into his bunk of the tour bus together. She could hear his heart beat slowly, the only light being the dim lit phone in his hand. Soft chuckles leaving his lips here and there. She missed feeling safe, she missed hearing his voice and feeling his skin. She needed this and it terrified her. 

“Dom?” her voice a small whisper, afterall the guys were in the other bunks around them. Anything she said they would most likely hear. 

He glanced down at her, his spare hand running through her hair gently. He always stayed up after shows, the adrenaline still pumping through his veins. He felt alive right now. She looked exhausted though. 

“Yes darlin?” He placed his phone screen down next to him, shifting slightly to face her more. 

She reached out for his hand and in the darkness traced out his broken heart tattoo that was fairly new and slightly raised on his skin. He smiled, not that she could see it. Biting her lip, she held back the tears welling up behind her eyes. Why did she have to feel this way, it was unbearable. The way out was so obvious, it called her name every numb second. 

“Wish you could sing to me right now.” She squished in closer to him, hands snaking beneath the sheets and under his shirt, they were so cold but he didn’t jump away. 

“Will tomorrow, promise.” He whispered thickly. “Don’t stay up for me, sleep luv.”

“Can’t.” She barely got the words out without crying. 

His hand pressed into her cheek and he moved to press their foreheads together. The mattress creaking under them made her cringe. Noses bumping softly into each other before settling. She sucked in a breath, and exhaled weakly; it warmly fanned across his face. 

There was so much he wanted to say but none of it was coming out. He wanted to reassure her, the way she always did with him but he didn’t want anyone else to hear what he had to say. It was between the two of them, words only for her. She felt too many conflicting emotions, pain, lust, hate. 

They spent many long moments like that, breathing in each other's air. Before his tongue flicked out to run over his lips, wetting them. His head dripping lower and pressing even closer into her. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t ruin her, she was already in a bad place; he would just add to that wound. 

Lips ghosting over each other for seconds, her hand under his shirt grabbing at his side, nails sinking in. Neither of them moved, to make that step. Just torturing themselves with paralyzing unacted upon emotion. 

“Fuck.” He grumbled softly, arms hastily wrapping around her body; face burying into the side of her neck. Instead of the latter, he left a string of hot kisses down her neck, leading down to her shoulder. And she shivered desperately into him, scratching up his back. Both of them knew nothing could happen, that they wouldn't take that step.

And that left us at today. 

She had just decided to go for a walk. Dom had to go do sound check and as much as she loved watching him do his thing, her head just couldn’t take the screaming today. 

The last week had been an uproar of emotions. Extravagant highs and dark lows. Seeing him again was everything she’d hoped for but gave her no answers. I probably confused her even more. 

She didn’t even process how she’d gone. Where she was, until looking down. Knuckles gripping the railing of the highway bridge so tight they were icy white. Head turning to look up at the hill the venue was on but turned back shortly after. 

She laughed sadily, manically, below her was a shallow lake; some sharp rocks. There was no way anyone would even know. How long would it take them to find her body. Would she die or just break enough bones that the physical pain overtook the mental. 

“Y/N?” He sounded so scared, when did he even get here, she must have lost time again. 

She didn’t want him to be scared, falling was just like flying. It would be beautiful, it was what she wanted. 

“Please, look at me.” It took her almost a whole minute to register and she did. 

“How come the world can have you but I can’t?” Her words slow. “You left me. Why? Why!? Why would you do that? I fucking need you.” Cheeks puffy and glistening wet, she’d been crying for a while now; she didn’t even realise. 

Dom went to look for her, he ended sound check early, he wanted to spend more time with her. She hadn’t opened up fully, he knew there was something else bothering her, something big. He’d ran as fast as his feet took him to reach her when he saw her figure in the distance. 

He bit into the side of his cheek, wanting so desperately to reach out for her but knowing that might encourage her to go over. He had to take it easy. Speaking solely from his heart. 

“You have always had me, from the moment I met you Y/N. You are too good to me, I don’t deserve you in my life. ” He spoke so diligently, trying to plan out his next words but not having enough time . “I’m so sorry luv, I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner, that I wasn’t there when you needed me. But I'm in front of you right now and I will be here until you don't want me anymore.”

Words didn’t mean shit. Jumping would solve everything. It would stop the inescapable black hole of feelings that had been building and building for months. 

“You can’t be here for me!” She screamed achingly, ripping her body again from the side rail and turning to him, stepping down finally. “Y-You wouldn’t cancel this show for me! You wouldn’t introduce them to me! I feel like I’m being eaten alive by my own emotions. I want to fucking die Dom, I don’t know how to make it all stop.” Her fists balled in anger and desperation as she gestured to jumping off this bridge and he caught her wrists in his palms promptly. 

“Of course I would.” He looked into her eyes seriously, brows knitted together. “But if I did show you off to them, they’d talk shit about you, speculate every time we’re together, I don’t have control over that. You’re my secret. I can’t let them trash you because you’re too good for this world.” His hands helped wipe some of her tears away from her skin. 

This hurt his heart. Last week he had no clue she was like this, he knew so little. He was so lucky she decided to call him in a panic that night and open up to him. They didn’t have much time to talk recently and apparently that left him way out of the loop. He wished he’d stayed at home longer now. To truly help her get back on track, instead words had to be enough over the phone, they weren’t. 

Her shivering figure grasped at his black shirt tightly, head falling onto his chest. His arms quickly wrapping around her body frightfully tight. His shirt quickly got soaked through, sobs muffled into his skin. “I just miss you so much.” She choked out. “I d-don’t know. I don’t. I don’t wanna be alive. I can’t do this Dom. I just.. I want!” She stomped her feet in anger, coming back too. 

His hands rubbed up and down her back. “There's not a day that goes by that I don’t wanna talk to you. I miss you and mum, dad, the girls with every cell in my body; every moment I spend away from you all. I would do anything for you and if you need me tonight I’ll postpone the show till tomorrow. I’m always all yours.” 

Her head lifted and she shook it vigorously. “No, no, no. I’m being selfish. So selfish. They love you. This is your dream. Who am I to take that away from you?” 

“The girl who told me to go for it. The one who gave me confidence to come to America. The reason I have any of this.” He smiled down at her. 

God he’s smile made every painful numb day seem so insignificant. His words slowly being digested and repeated in her head, over analysed as much as possible. She didn’t know how to respond to that. This was only such a temporary fix, in an hour she’d just wanna come back and do it again. 

“I need help.” She smiled brokenly, tired of living. 

“Then I’ll get you some.”


End file.
